Dreams Are Where Truth Sleeps
by Amber Penglass
Summary: When Atton's past haunts him in a dream, the resulting emotions are strong enough to awaken the Exile from her slumber. She decides to wake the Scoundrel... 1st in the AttonFemExile Snippit Series.


_**Dreams Are Where Truth Sleeps**_

_Amber Penglass_

An Atton/FemExile snippit.

* * *

The Jedi exile known as Aelyn Drae felt it before she actually awoke. Her brow furrowed in her sleep, her face contorting in anxiety. The waves of fear, guilt, anger…they rolled off him and into her dreams, even from across the ship. The sole occupant of the port side barracks tossed and turned in his sleep, and Aelyn felt every tense muscle twitch and spasm as if it were she who was having the bad dream… And what a dream it had to be…such agony, such guilt… For once, his mind wasn't slippery or glassy, but sharp and painfully open.

Aelyn was awake and pushing aside the coarse bunk coverings before she had completely opened her eyes. Somehow, across the narrow room, Kreia and Visas both remained sound asleep.

Aelyn absently took up her red robe from where it lay over the foot of her bunk, slipping tired arms into the sleeves, over the simple undershirt she wore to sleep in. She paused at the hatchway, glancing back to discern that Kreia and Visas were indeed asleep. Visas she didn't worry about, oddly enough- for being a Sith, Aelyn already had far more trust in the blind Miraluka than she did Kreia, her supposed 'Master' and teacher. Aelyn was quite aware of Kreia's dislike for Atton, and she didn't think the Jedi-turned-Sith-turned-'neither' would think kindly of her exhausted pupil rousing herself for Atton's sake. Nor, if she awoke and sensed what Aelyn sensed, would she pass up the opportunity to delve into Atton's agonizingly vulnerable mind…

Satisfied that they were indeed asleep, Aelyn reigned in her Force senses, turned and left, letting the hatch fall softly, quietly closed. She pulled her robe tighter around her, against the chill of the powered-down-to-minimum _Ebon Hawk_. She passed the engine room, smiling faintly at hearing T3-M4 tinker and fiddle away with the thrusters and lightspeed drive. Despite the droid's and Bao-dur's best efforts, the damaged sustained on their way to Peragus had yet to be fully repaired, and thus the engines needed constant maintanence.

She came to the starboard barrack, the hatch wide open, revealing to Aelyn that the single form on one of the left bunks was the only occupant. Tonight had been the 'boys' turn to man the ship, keep things running. Mical was piloting –yet another hidden talent of his, it seemed- while Mandalore was off brooding somewhere, and Bao-dur was repairing what Atton hadn't had time to fix on Dxun.

Atton…

As she watched, feeling every inch the sentinel watchwoman she was, the scoundrel rolled over, half falling off the bed before flipping back the other way, all accentuated by one long, agonized groan. Aelyn winced, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she pondered what to do. She could just hear what Kreia would say… _Helping others only serves to weaken them, and yourself_… But then again, when had Aelyn ever listened to that Sith-born mantra before? She wasn't about to start now.

Stepping into the barrack, Aelyn pulled the hatch shut behind her. If Bao-dur finished repairs early for the night, or Kreia awoke, she hoped the shut door would be a hint. A tickle of her Precognition sense was kicking in; she didn't want any accidental audiences and, she felt, neither would Atton.

She crossed the room in two silent strides, one hand holding her robe shut –she remembered her flush of embarrassment in the cell room on Peragus all too well- and she reached out with her other hand-

Atton rarely let show his Echani training, still trying to convince her that he didn't _really_ have any training, that he faked it to avoid confrontations. This was one of those rare times when he slipped. Quicker than Aelyn had come to expect from him he awoke, lashing out and closing an iron fist around the hand she'd been about to lay on his arm, yanking her down while twisting himself up and over her as she came crashing down on his bunk, flipped onto her back beneath him. The cold glint of a vibrodagger was pressed against her throat, and she remembered briefly that he kept one, always, beneath his pillow or pack, wherever and whenever he slept.

Once a scoundrel, always a scoundrel, it seemed…

"Atton!" Aelyn hissed, sharper than she'd intended. "Atton, you idiot, it's me!" One of her hands had closed around the hand of his that held the blade, while her other was fisted against his bare chest, keeping a good distance between his flesh and hers- her robe had fallen open, and her undershirt and slipped down off one shoulder. A flush creeped up her throat to her cheeks, but she ignored it. Right now, she needed to snap her pilot out of the dream-daze that was still glazed over his eyes.

"Jedi…" came the low, sleep-coarse voice.

"Not really…Ugh, fine, yes, that's me," Aelyn replied, peeved, shoving at his chest again. He didn't budge. She really didn't want to use Force push on him…not only would he sulk about it for days, but she was so, so tired… But there was still that dagger. And that unusual shine over Atton's eyes. Maybe a good jolt was what he _needed_… Something was up, something more than a bad dream…

But then it passed, finally, and Atton the Scoundrel, not Atton the Crazed-Nightmare-Victim was looking down at Aelyn the Jedi Exile, whom was in turn glaring up with all the might her short 5'3'' form could muster.

"Gonna get off me, now?" Aelyn grumbled. Atton took in the knife he held to his leader-dearest's throat, the redness of her neck and face, and the way one of her hands was planted against his chest, her locked elbow beginning to tremble. His eyes widened, and he removed the knife and rolled to the side to come up on his knees.

"I, uh…Aelyn…" He scowled. Crap. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"You were having a nightmare," Aelyn muttered, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed while pulling her robe around herself. "I could…I could feel it all the way to my bunk. It woke me up." She realized too late how selfish her word choice had to have sounded. Atton didn't seem to notice though, murmuring an apology for waking her while he reached past her to shove the vibrodagger back under his pillow.

"Sorry about that, by the way…" he said, apologizing a second time while motioning to the pillow when he sat back. Aelyn nodded.

"That's all right…" she paused, playing with the silver twist that bound a single lock of burgundy hair behind her right ear. "Must have been some dream," she added after a moment.

"Huh?" He looked away, running a hand through unruly brown locks. "Oh…yeah…don't really remember…" He was lying. Aelyn sighed, but didn't call him on it. She stood up, feeling his eyes following her, and believing her goal was achieved- he was no longer trapped by sleep among whatever horrifying truths his past and/or imagination held for him.

"Mical's shift will be up in a few hours…" Aelyn said, not looking at him. "You should try and get some more sleep before then."

"Yeah…Mical…" he shook his head, raising a hand to give a halfhearted scratch behind one ear. Aelyn smiled fleetingly at the familiar gesture.

"Do you think we did the right thing?" Aelyn asked suddenly. Until she'd spoken, she hadn't even been aware she'd meant to say anything. She turned away from the hatch, back to where Atton still sat on the edge of the bed. He blinked through his sleepy haze, then answered, "On Onderon?"

"Yeah. That whole mess in Iziz…do you think we did the right thing? I feel so hypocritical. Part of the reason I'm an exile to begin with is because I defied all I'd once believed in to defend the Republic…but now…"

"Now you're wondering if you made a mistake?" Atton finished for her, the words sounding so rehearsed that later, Aelyn would wonder how many times he himself had pondered that possibility, and not in regards to _her_ choices.

"Not about defying the Council. I still would do it, if I could go back. They were wrong to sit back and ponder pros and cons while the Outer Rim died, I still believe that."

"Then it wasn't the Republic you were fighting for at all, even in the beginning. You were fighting for the innocents, and at that point in time the Republic was the best defense the innocents had, so you helped them." It sounded so simple when he said it… Aelyn sighed wistfully, sitting down on the edge of his bunk, beside him.

"And now, I'm wondering if the Republic is still the best defense for the innocents," she murmured to herself.

"Not to complicate things for your inner monologue, but right now it's the _only_ defense," Atton pointed out, leaning forward to place his elbows on his bare knees. "If the Republic falls, what's to keep monsters like Czerka, the Exchange, the Sith from taking over, parceling up the galaxy like a pie?"

"This from a scoundrel…" Aelyn's lips twitched. "The galaxy really is coming to an end."

Atton snorted, and the earlier twitch of Aelyn's lips spread to a full grin. Atton smiled in response to the sight of it.

"You did the right thing, helping the Queen, and the Republic on Onderon. Don't doubt yourself," he told her. She looked at him as he added, "I don't." She smiled softly, leaning to the side a bit to lay her head on his scarred shoulder.

"You know, I don't think I ever thanked you for sticking with me," Aelyn said softly, thoughtfully.

Motionless, Atton replied, "Sure you did. On Telos, remember? And again on Dantooine, when you were trying to get rid of me…"

She smacked his arm, without moving her head. "I wasn't trying to get rid of you, and you know it." She scooted a little closer, easing the creak the leaning pose had put in her neck. "And you know how forgetful I am, so I'll just say it again; I know you have your secrets and ulterior motives, but thank you, Atton Rand, for sticking with this sodding poor excuse for a former-Jedi."

"Hey, now, don't sell yourself short," he responded. "Remember all those rewards we've been racking in? If anything-"

"Don't say it." She warned too late.

"-anything you're a sodding _rich_ excuse for a former…hey!" She'd lifted her head, punching him in the shoulder with just a smidge of Lightning in her touch, enough to make his hair frizz a bit.

"I warned you not to say it," Aelyn pointed out before Atton could sputter out a complaint. He shut his retort-ready mouth, disgruntled. He glanced up at his new 'do, reaching up a hand in a futile attempt to smooth it down. Aelyn grinned, but that grin faded a moment later when her pilot spoke up again.

"And who ever said I have ulterior motives?"

"I'm forgetful, Atton, not blind," Aelyn replied, scooting back across the bunk to lean against the wall, not meeting Atton's gaze. "You think I didn't see the looks Kreia and you exchanged whenever I offered you the chance to bail? Or the way you were so jittery around her –and me- after I got you out of the holding cells at Atris' Academy? Or even the way you avoid Mical like the plague? I know there's a reason for it all, probably a reason I won't like one bit, but I know it's there. And I've accepted that you don't want to tell me, for some reason. I've accepted and I've dealt, but that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore that it's there."

Atton looked at her for a long, long moment, before following her movements and moving back across the bunk to sit with his back against the wall, left leg out straight and sticking over the opposite edge of the bed, his other leg up at an angle with right forearm resting atop his knee. With his other hand he raked his fingers through his still frizzy hair, releasing a long breath. To his left, Aelyn sat, silent, waiting.

"To clear things up…" he paused, then continued. "My avoiding that Jedi-wannabe has nothing to do with the secrets I keep from you. Not the ones you're thinking of, anyways."

"Oh?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and letting the 'wannabe' comment slide. Technically, she was more a wannabe that he was… _He_ had never been exiled. "Care to clarify? What secret, exactly, _does_ involve him? Is it one that you can tell me? Or is it another to add to the collection of things that Must Be Kept From The Exile For Her Own Good. I would think you and Mical and Kreia had a secret club going, if I didn't know for a fact how much the three of you _love_ each other."

Atton dropped his hand from his hair, turning his face a fraction of an inch to stare at her out of the corner of his hazel eye, the sarcasm in his gaze palpable. Aelyn sucked in a silent breath, biting her tongue, and looked away, cheeks flushed.

To her unending surprise, a lithe hand came into view, hooking two fingers under her chin and guiding her face to look back at the owner of that hand.

"Oh_, yes_," Atton drawled. "I love Kreia, _so_ much. Such a _gorgeous_ old bird. But like you said our first day together on this ship, I must be desperate to think so, right?"

"I've yet to know you to ever be truly desperate, Rand," Aelyn grumbled, half to herself. He was moving closer, a fleeting smile at her words flitting across his mouth.

Why was he moving closer?

He was moving closer…Why? Closer…

He locked his hazel gaze with her violet one for the briefest of instants, then that agile mouth of his was on hers, far softer and more patient than she ever thought he could be capable of.

_Oh,_ she thought. _That's why he was moving closer…_

The two fingers under her chin were joined by the other three digits, the whole of them moving up the side of her face to tangle in her hair. The short locks slipped free of the thin band at the base of her skull. She discovered that one of her hands was, of its own accord, sliding up Atton's chest to hook behind his neck, drawing him closer. He angled his mouth against hers, gaining fuller access…and taking advantage of that access, darting that quick tongue of his against her lips, the corners of her mouth, letting her feel him just barely before pulling back.

All the while, she'd been sliding away from the wall, and his free hand had gone past her to plant his palm above his pillow as she let herself settle into that pillow. Such a similar position to the one they'd found themselves in earlier, but the tension that surrounded them now was of a very different sort.

He kissed her long and sweet, taking his time and making sure they both reveled in every moment, every brush, every caress, every nuzzle and every taste. More than once she took over the initiative, placing the palms of her hands on either side of his face and moving him to where _she_ wanted him, and he'd rumble a laugh into the kiss while she grumbled her impatience. One of his hands slid down out of her hair, his thumb settling over the pulsepoint in the hollow of her throat, rubbing soft, slow circles into the sensitive flesh he found there, the rest of his finger massaging the conjunction of her shoulder and neck.

She pulled away from the kiss, purring a bit at his administrations.

"That feels good," she murmured, belatedly remembering her soreness. Atton redoubled his attentions, seeking out the kinks and knots in her right shoulder muscle while his lips descended to the left side of her throat, placing heated, gentle, suckling little kisses against her neck and other shoulder. She turned her head a bit, smiling into his hair, taking a deep breath and giving a relaxing shudder.

Atton switched sides, massaging her left shoulder, and moving his mouth to the right side of her throat, nipping gently.

Eventually he raised his head, placing a soft kiss to her brow, her nose, her eyelids, chin, before at last setting his mouth against hers, firmly, almost possessively.

The kiss increased in intensity, both of them matching each other's increasing insistence, with Atton planting one hand above her, his other sliding down over her shoulder, her side, just barely flicking the side of her right breast with his thumb, setting that hand against her hip as she took to nibbling at his bottom lip, one hand playing with his left ear-

Suddenly the world around them gave a choking, rocking shudder, and Atton grabbed onto a bar above the bunk with one hand and Aelyn with his other arm to keep them both from being tossed to the floor.

Despite the mental hindrance of their heat-induced haze, both pilot and sentinel came to the same conclusion within moments- Mical!

"Damn rookie," Atton snarled, jumping from the bunk to land on the bucking floor and snatching his shirt from the hook over his bunk. Aelyn called on every ounce of her Jedi skill to keep her balance as she slipped from the bunk to stand beside him, forgetting the disarray her hair and clothes had to be in and running out of the barrack, Atton following. Down the corridor, past the galaxy hologram and up into the cockpit, Atton hot on her heels-

Only to behold the sleepy-eyed, scrambling-over-the-controls form of Mical, Jedi 'Padawan.'

"What the hell happened?" Atton demanded amiably enough for the mood Aelyn knew he was in. She knew, because she shared it. Though she doubted his emotions was as tainted with the barest hint of relief hers were…

"I…I fell asleep…my deepest apologies, Aelyn, Atton…" Mical rubbed his brow, looking genuinely apologetic and aghast at his lack of attentiveness.

Aelyn sighed. "That's fine, Mical. Why don't you go get some sleep? Atton, do you think you can take your shift now? Or if you want to sleep some more, I'm sure I could- or Bao-dur…"

"Na, I'm good," Atton responded as Mical removed himself from the pilot's chair. "Doubt I could sleep now, anyways…" he added under his breath. Aelyn knew he wasn't just referring to the excitement the bucking ship had caused…

He buttoned up his shirt, taking his place in the pilot seat as Mical slipped past her, apologizing sleepily once again.

"Why don't you find Bao-dur and Mandalore before you sleep, let them know nothing's wrong?" Atton advised. "They're both probably in the engine room, making sure it was an engine backcharge that made us buck like that." Mical nodded his assent, and left.

Aelyn paused a moment, standing by the galaxy map. "Well…goodnight, then…" She turned to leave, only to be held back by a hand on her wrist. Atton had half turned in the seat, one hand still on the controls, the other hand reaching out and back to grab hers.

"Hey," he said. "I…I just…er…" That seemed to be the extent of his vocabulary at the moment. Grinning her understanding, Aelyn took a step towards him, and kissed him once, briefly, sweetly, murmuring a soft 'goodnight' before slipping her hand from his grip, and exiting the cockpit.

She encountered Kreia and Visas in the corridor back to her barrack, and reassured them both that all that had happened was Mical missing his bedtime. Visas, satisfied, returned to bed, while Kreia stayed behind.

"You abandoned your slumber long before the young Jedi fell asleep at the controls. Where did you go?" The anomaly of a woman was staring at her, Aelyn could tell despite the hood that hung over the old woman's eyes.

"To coax some truth out of a dreamer," Aelyn responded, deliberately giving her voice a sage's echo-ey quality. If Kreia sensed that her pupil was mocking her with her deliberate attempt at being cryptic, she didn't call her on it. Rather, she too turned and followed Visas' path back to the starboard barrack. A moment's pause, encompassing a breathy sigh, then Aelyn followed, all her tiredness and soreness suddenly returning.

Except her shoulders. Those, she thought with a secretive smile, felt just fine…

**End.**

* * *

Has anyone noticed, those of you that read/write fanfiction in other fandoms, how much of a Mary Sue the female Exile can be? Just occurred to me… Of course, the fact that it's Lucus Arts and others that came up with the circumstances for the character and not me, an avid Mary Sue hater, that lets me get away with writing this kind of fluff with a clear conscience.

Yeah…I love Atton. Me and half the rest of the female Kotor players… Sorry, Carth, time to move over!

_-Amber Penglass_


End file.
